Bad Brain

"I used to walk with my head up
now i walk straight ahead
all those things i looked up to
to me those thing are dead
on closer inspection
so much turned out fake
let down so many times
caused part of me to break

as i grow older
my heart grows colder
and i hate to feel
that part of me is over
i can't waste another day
i can't let my spirit slip away "

- Mental

This is how i have been feeling for the past while.

I see all these kids at work. So stoked to just be alive. so carefree. and full of excitement and hope.

all i can do is envy this trait of the kids.

i mean i put on this "Y" Tee and make it seem like I'm living and loving life just as a child should.

but when i clock-out and the shirt comes off i have to face reality.

A lot of shit has been messin' up for me. I mean I'm a Decent person. i try my hardest to make things work out for the best with my friends and family but lately it has been nothing but bullshit. I'm tired of it. really.

The two people who i thought we going to support me in anything i would ever do have started to turn their back on me and put me down. continually pushing the negative aspect of my current goals in my face. so much for that.

... currently on the Fence about Sticking with reversal. i am the sole source of income and its starting to effect my finances to an extreme where i wouldn't be able to buy a house or get qualified to rent an apt until I'm about 30. and I'm not stoked for that.

Reversal has brought me close to some people i never though it would and i am so thankful for it. but sometimes good things have to come to an end. and i have a feeling this is one of them.

Any who.

It's fathers day. i wanna lighten this up a little bit haha.

i wanna say think you to my dad. you've been a great father to me, and i truly appreciate everything you've done, and all the times you've been there for me.

also want to show my appreciation for both my grandfathers, which have both passed away.

so be it if you're in heaven, or just 6 feet under the ground. i will always love and Cherish the time i had with you. you showed me to put my family and friends first, and never let anything come between that and I'm very thankful for that.

my you both R.I.P

and to all of my friends/family without fathers i am very sorry, and you have my sympathy.

and those of you who do have fathers and don't show your appreciation. you should, with out him you wouldn't be here. anyway. hope every ones had a good day.